


The Most Romantic Sex Barry Bluejeans Has Ever Had

by theshippingpineapple



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Romance, Smut, blupjeans, i wrote this from barry's perspective so i could talk about how hot lup is, lup is really hot, sickeningly sweet romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 09:37:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theshippingpineapple/pseuds/theshippingpineapple
Summary: Lup and Barry Bluejeans present their orchestral masterpiece to the mountain and get accepted. Then, they hold hands for a really long time and sneak off to make out. This snapshot story starts right after they get back to the Starblaster, and follows the sickenengly sweet story of a budding romance decades in the building, as well as some intense release of sexual tension. The fluffiest smut you will ever read.





	The Most Romantic Sex Barry Bluejeans Has Ever Had

“Hah, god Barry,” Lup snorts. She’s holding his hand in her left, and a glass of cold Champagne in her right. Red lipstick stains the rim of the glass and Barry’s glasses.  
“It wasn’t that funny,” Barry says softly. He’s never blushed this red in his life. He sweeps his thumb across Lup’s manicured nails and wants nothing more than to bring them up to his lips and kiss them - but would that be too much? They had only just had their first kiss an hour ago, still in evening wear, and they’d done too much then, too.  
But he loves Lup, and she’s more stunning than she’s ever been tonight, so he pulls her hand up to his mouth. She giggles and blushes to match his.  
“I... Can’t believe we didn’t hook up sooner, hottie,” she breathes, and presses a gentle kiss to his nose. She sets the champagne down to run a hand through his hair.  
“You keep saying that.”  
“It keeps being true.”  
“Do you really think I’m -” He gestures to his overweight, not-so-young body- “A h-hottie?”  
“Barold.” Lup cups his cheeks in her firm grip. “Shut the fuck up. You’re the hottest person I’ve ever met. And the kindest, and the funniest, and the most fucking nerdy -”  
He kisses her.  
“Fuck, Lup,” he moans when she finally breaks away for air. “God. I feel the same about you.”  
“I’m the nerdiest person you know?” She raises an eyebrow quizzically but he can see the edge of her mouth break into a smirk.  
“No, Lup, you’re... the hottest. And - like - th-that other stuff you said too - oh, jeez, sorry, I don’t mean to be crass I just -”  
She kisses him.  
“I know, Barry,” she says. “You’ve never been crass in your goddamn life. You’re a fucking sweetheart.”  
She pokes his chest and he giggles a bit, though he isn’t quite exactly sure why. Maybe it’s the thrill of having kissed someone with hair and eyes like fire and a soul like a lion and a voice like a flowing river and a crackling log and oh god he loves her. Her face lights up when he lets out his classic laugh-snort.  
“Awe,” she grins. Several pokes follow the first. “You’re so cute!”  
“So are- haha, stop that! - So are you.”  
“Really?” Somehow, this seems to surprise her.  
“Yeah, of course! Lup, you’re gorgeous-”  
“I know, but cute?” Lup’s face is shining. “I’ve never been called that before.”  
“What?” Barry is almost offended, for her. “That’s like a crime, Lup! You - You’re adorable! Deadly, but adorable.”  
“Okay, this is going to sound like a joke,” she says, “But that is dead-ass the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”  
Barry wants to say you’re the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me but refrains. Instead, he just looks at her, smiling like an idiot, but she’s smiling just as big back and his heart is so, so warm.  
“So, uh,” Lup says. “It’s past midnight.”  
“Oh.” He looks down. “I should - I should let you sleep.”  
“I’m not tired,” she replies, sultry. “Just... it’s technically morning, so. I should probably take of this evening gown.”  
Barry is suddenly acutely aware that he and Lup are together, slightly tipsy, in her room on the Starblaster in the middle of the night with no one else anywhere around. He freezes.  
“Shit, Barry-” Lup steps back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”  
“What?” Barry can’t process anything that’s happening right now.  
“I shouldn’t have assumed you were ready for me to undress, we just got together, Jesus.” She sighs. “I’m sorry.”  
“Lup...” He can barely form words in his brain, let alone with his mouth.  
She laughs softly, but it’s bittersweet, like the tingle of frozen wind chimes. “Barr, it’s okay.”  
“Did - ” He blinks. “Did you just call me Barr?”  
“Oh, my apologies,” she drawls, rolling her eyes. “Barold.”  
They laugh, and they keep laughing for a good long time, even though it wasn’t more than slightly funny. Barry still can’t completely wrap his head around what Lup had suggested. He’s a little disappointed, he realizes, that he didn’t react better. He could have seen Lup - Lup! - in her underwear. She would have been breathtaking, unforgettable.  
“Lup,” he tries again. “I’m such a dork, I’m sorry, I was just really, really surprised. But. It is technically morning.”  
Her eyes study him for a tense second, and then she breaks into a smile. “Yeah. It is.”  
Lup’s dress is stunning enough in itself, even without the promise of her body beneath it. It’s backless, which highlights her sharp shoulder blades and the gentle curve of her lower back. The fabric is navy, painted to look like galaxies dancing across her chest. It hugs her body tightly until it reaches her knees, where it flares out in flames. Barry would marry her in that dress.  
She steps closer to him, somehow. Her soft lips settle on his neck and she kisses him sweetly, rolling her tongue gently across his skin, making his eyes fall half-lidded with pleasure. She intertwines her elegant hand with his and guides him to the zipper on the back of her dress. His fingers fumble to find the pull and she giggles into him, which tickles, and so he laughs back. He feels like a giddy high school nerd again, just figuring himself out.  
“Can I, um,” He says. “U-unzip you?”  
She kisses his lips in response and he pulls open the zipper. His fingertips fall on what feels like lacy underwear and his heart skips a beat.  
“You’re wonderful,” he whispers.  
“You’re incredible,” she whispers back. With a fluid motion of her shoulders, she shrugs the top of the dress off.  
If Barry had been asked, ten minutes ago, to describe what Lup looked like shirtless, he would have stammered something about soft skin and subtle curves. Something about beauty, and fire, and the most attractive thing he would ever see. This is not that. This is more than that.  
Her hair cascades over her shoulders, a deep chestnut brown ending in a flame-colored red. The shoulders themselves are a brilliant bronze, glowing with all of the warmth a sun elf could possibly produce. Her collarbones are knives. She isn’t wearing her bra, and therefore not her inserts, so Barry can see her real breasts - and they’re small and cute and perky and topped with two plump brown nipples that his fingers yearn to touch.  
“Woah.”  
Lup smiles. “That impressive, huh?”  
“Y-yeah. Wow.”  
She sits down on the bed, her skirt still sitting snug around her waist, only revealing an inch of red panty. He can see that, despite the confidence in her voice, there’s a hint of insecurity in her posture.  
“Lup.” He looks deep into her eyes. “You’re stunning.”  
“Thanks,” she says. She winks at him, and the tension in her shoulders melts away a bit. “God, this is - embarrassing, but I’m actually a fucking - god - uh - I’ve never.... Done this before.”  
“You’re a virgin?” Barry blurts, and immediately regrets it.  
She sighs. “Yeah. You wouldn’t think it, but... It took me a long time to get comfortable with my body, and after a while, there became only one person I was interested in sleeping with.”  
She looks up at him, biting her lip, eyes like a doe and he feels like he’s going to pass out. Lup wanted to sleep with him. Lup wanted to sleep with him, and he was somehow the only one she wanted to sleep with despite him being him and her being Lup, ethereally beautiful and heartbreakingly kind.  
“Woah,” he says again, softer this time. “Lup, that’s - woah.”  
“It’s a bit woah for me, too,” she breathes. “That it’s finally happening. I’ve wanted you for literal decades.”  
“Same. Wholeheartedly same. I’ve wanted you since I met you at the IPRE.”  
“Seriously?” Lup’s eyebrows shoot up into space. “That’s adorable, oh my god, Barold!”  
She’s giggling and Barry’s blushing and she’s the most beautiful thing in this planar system or any other. He sits down next to her on the bed, and her smooth skin of her naked chest brushes against his arm. His heart skips a beat.  
“So,” she says, kissing his lips lightly. “Why am I the only one who knows it’s not evening?”  
Barry’s blush deepens. Lup’s reaches over and pulls off his suit jacket, leaving him in a white button up and a pair of sturdy jeans.  
“You’re ready, right?” Her fingers hover over the top button of his shirt.  
“I, Lup... I’ve never been readier for anything in my life.”  
She kisses him again, less lightly. She undoes the button, and the next, and the next, until she’s just running her fingertips up and down his bare chest. It feels amazing. Barry is not a virgin, but this gentle touch from Lup is still the most sensual thing he’s ever experienced. He loves her. His cock twitches in his jeans.  
He slips himself out of his shirt completely, and she tugs on the skirt of her dress. The silken fabric slides down to reveal the nicest pair of underwear he’s ever seen, and then the nicest pair of legs he’s ever seen. Lup has worn a swimsuit around him before, several times, and while her legs were gorgeous then they’re even more gorgeous when they’re sitting cross legged on her bed with fiery underwear topping them.  
“God,” she says. “I am way too hard to be tucked right now.”  
Without another word, she takes off the lacy underwear, then the fabric slip that’s pinning her cock back to her. Lup is naked. Barry’s heart is on fire with lust and love and every single positive emotion that exists. She’s Lup, and she’s naked.  
He wants nothing more than to wrap his mouth around her cock but he holds back. He doesn’t know what her comfort zone is, dysphoria or just personal preference wise, and also he’s never given oral sex before. Instead, he places a nervous hand on her thigh. She lets out an almost moan.  
“Yes,” she whimpers. “Yes, Barry, touch me there.”  
She wraps her arms around Barry’s shoulders and shudders and breathes as he traces circles on the inside of her legs. Her face rests into his neck, and while he can’t see her, he can only imagine how desirable she must look. She peppers him with kisses and little moans as he moves his fingers up and down.  
“Lup, you’re the most perfect person,” he breathes.  
“I’m n - oh, f-fuck, Barry, yes, - I’m not a person.”  
“Hm?”  
“I’m an elf.” She giggles.  
“God, that’s so,” he says, stifling a giggle of his own. “So pedantic, Lup, god, I fucking love-”  
He freezes. He almost told her he loved her.  
“You...” Lup pulls back to look at him. Her eyes are sparkling, more star-like than the gown on the floor. “You fucking love..?”  
“I, uh,” He stammers. His tongue is heavy in his mouth and his pulse is the pounding staccato of someone confident enough to offer a drum solo as their piece to the mountain.  
“Barry,” she says. “Do you love me?”  
“Uh,” he replies. “Maybe?”  
“Fucking!” Lup leaps out of bed. “Fucking maybe? I wait years and years to hear you say that and all I get is a fucking maybe? I might as well screw Greg Grimmaldis for all this disrespect-”  
“Lup!” He leaps up after her. She’s naked and he’s in jeans, and he wants nothing more than to take them off and have passionate, passionate sex with her. “Of course I love you!”  
“Yeah?” She asks, crossing her arms. “You sure?”  
“Yes. I’ve been sure for god only knows how long, and I’ve stayed up late many a night dreaming of saying those words to you because, Lup, you’re a goddess. There’s something about you that is unparalleled in anyone, such a deep kindness matched with such a spark of intelligence and the bright fire that burns in your soul and pours out through the most spectacular, inspiring magic, and the way you smile that lights up my whole world and... I love you, I love you, I love you, Lup.”  
Lup kisses him hard on the mouth. “I love you too, Barry.”  
He grins like an idiot, cheeks red as her lipstick.  
“Now,” she says. Her fingers flit to the buckle of his belt. “Let’s bang.”  
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”  
She unbuckles him, unzips him, and then slowly, agonizingly slowly, pulls his jeans down. The boxers that he chose to wear today, for some reason, are black with little white skulls on them.  
“Barold J. Bluejeans.” Lup says. She’s shaking. “You necromantic nerd.”  
“Hey!” Barry says.  
“That’s so fucking cute, oh my god,” she continues, ignoring Barry’s interjection. “I need to get myself a pair of those. Where did you even get those?”  
Barry tries to ignore the fact that Lup is fawning over his underwear while his hard dick is making a very prominent bulge in them.  
“A few years ago, or so,” he says. “So the store’s not exactly... around anymore.”  
“Ah.” For a split second, her face shows a twinge of sadness. Then she smiles again. “It’s a shame.”  
“Yeah.”  
“It’s a shame because...” Lup licks her lips. “The last pair of those boxers in the whole of existence, and I’m going to rip them to shreds.”  
“Wh-what?”  
Lup finishes pulling off Barry’s pants and then, kneeling, bestows a sweet kiss to his stomach. Then she grabs the back of his boxers and rips them off.  
“H-holy shit.” Barry stands, in front of Lup, the love of his fucking life, completely naked, and she’s just done the hottest thing conceivable.  
“I know, I’m cool,” she smirks. She kisses his stomach again. Then she kisses his chubby hips, and his thick thighs, and covers the base of his cock with little pecks. He’s in heaven.  
“Do you wanna lie down, babe?” She asks. Barry pauses, and so does she. “Can I call you that? Babe?”  
“Yes.” Barry says. “Yes, that’s the sweetest thing in the world, Lup, yes.”  
“Can’t be the sweetest thing,” Lup replies coyly. She kisses him right under his belly button. “You’ve already claimed that label.”  
“God, I love you.”  
“I love you too... Babe.”  
“Babe,” Barry says. He’s trying the word out in his mouth - he’s never called anyone that before. It’s nice. It tastes like honey on his tongue. He lies down on the bed, like she asked. She lies down beside him. They’re all pressed up tight to each other, her flawless tan skin against his stretch mark riddled paleness. But she holds him like he’s a supermodel and he loves her for so many reasons but for that, too. He kisses her. She tastes nice on his tongue, too, but it’s more like fire than honey.  
“You’re like a living, breathing, metaphor for flame,” he humbles into her cheek.  
She laughs. “How do you always know how to give the best compliments?”  
“It’s easy, when the person you want to compliment is so awe-inspiring.”  
“Fucking, false,” Lup says. “I’m shit at compliments and yet you’re the most awe-inspiring person I know.”  
“Hardly,” snorts Barry. “Your brother is the best transmutation wizard in the galaxy.”  
“Babe?” Lup half sits up. “Please don’t mention my brother when your dick’s out.”  
“S-sorry.”  
She kisses him, giggly. “Anyway. You are awe-inspiring, Barry. You’re easily the smartest person on the Starblaster - and yes, that does include the literary prodigy. And the all knowing trained-since-birth captain. And me, for fucks sake, which is really saying something. And your kindness? And your weaponized nerdiness? And the way that you make even necromancy seem cute?”  
“Hmm,” Barry says, nuzzling his face into Lup’s neck. “I thought you said you were shit at compliments.”  
“Oh, shut up,” Lup grins. “I was only being humble.”  
“Of course,” says Barry. “You’re known to be humble.”  
“Hey!” Lup pulls back. “When did you become the snarky one?”  
“I guess you’re rubbing off on me.”  
“Mm.”  
“I hope you are, at least,” Barry muses. “Because if I became even one percent more like you, I’d already be infinitely cooler.”  
Lup leans back into him. Their bodies fit together more perfectly than he could have ever imagined.  
“I love you,” she says. “Can I suck your dick?”  
“Y-yes,” says Barry. His heart is pounding. “I-if you want, I mean. I don’t-”  
“Would I have asked if I didn’t want?”  
Barry half shrugs and Lup kisses his neck, then his chest, then his stomach. “Trust me. I want.”  
“You’re so pretty,” he murmurs, as he watches her, naked, with her face pressed against his hip and her smooth hair flowing everywhere like a river of flame.  
“So are you,” she says, and she sounds like she means it. Barry loves her so much.  
She wraps her right hand softly around the shaft of his cock, and the sensation of her touch sends a wave of arousal and anticipation through every nerve in his body. He shudders, his cock twitching.  
“Someone’s excited,” Lup teases. She’s gorgeous. “So. As you know, never done this before, so if I’m doing something weird, tell me.”  
“You won’t do anything weird.”  
She narrows her eyes. “But if I do, tell me.”  
“Okay, babe.” He can’t help but smile as he says the word babe. He thinks it’s his new favorite.  
Lup gently strokes him, and he tilts his head back and closes his eyes. Her wet lips kiss the head of his cock and he moans softly. She giggles to hear it and kisses him more, up and down his shaft, surely leaving lipstick and saliva marks as she goes. Her mouth is warm and wonderful.  
She slides her lips up him, cupping them around the head. He restrains himself from bucking into her, his cock dripping with precum and his heart dripping with desire.  
“I love you,” he says.  
“I love you too.” She opens her mouth and takes him into her.  
He gasps as soon as her tongue touches his cock. In moments he knows that she’s better than anyone he’s ever slept with, despite never having done this before. She bobs her head slowly, and sometimes her lips are pursed around the tip and sometimes he’s all the way in the back of her throat and it feels so good. He’s quivering, and he can’t keep his eyes open, and his hands are desperately clutching the bed sheets and curling into fists.  
“F-fuck,” he moans, arching his back.  
Lup is sucking and licking and it feels better than anything, like fireworks and like chocolate cake. If he wrote about what sex with Lup was like, he would become a revered poet, but he would never be able to write it because it is indescribable. Her lips are plump and her tongue is agile and the warmth of her heart just makes it so much better.  
“Lup, oh god, Lup,” he’s whimpering, his thighs tensing and releasing around her face. He can’t even think. She’s the best thing he’s ever experienced. “Lup, fuck, babe, my god.”  
She goes faster when he moans, and it’s got to be a new type of ecstasy. He can hear his cock sliding around in her wet mouth and it’s the most erotic sound he’s ever heard. He loves her so much. She’s so hot. This is paradise.  
His hips are desperately calling to buck into her, and his cock won’t stop twitching and throbbing in her mouth. He’s close.  
“Lup, I,” he breathes. “I’m - I’m gonna cum.”  
She sucks him so sweetly and keeps the rhythm when she hears that, making no motion for him to pull out. He gasps and throws his head back. His whole body convulses as he orgasms, pumping his cum into Lup’s soft, wet mouth. He can feel her suck it up and he’s moaning and whimpering and there’s never going to be a moment parallel to this.  
He finishes, and she slips her mouth off of him.  
“Wow,” she says.  
“W-wow,” Barry agrees.  
“I think I like oral sex,” Lup muses. There’s cum on her lower lip and she’s smiling.  
“I think I like... you,” Barry says, then laughs. It’s so dumb, but he can’t think straight after cumming in the love of his life.  
“I know I like you,” she retorts, fake offended. “In fact, I know I love you.”  
“I know I love you too, babe,” he murmurs. “And I know I love oral sex.”  
“Mm.” She smiles, and scoots herself up so that her head is resting on Barry’s chest instead of his crotch.  
“Speaking of.” He bestows a kiss on her temple. “Do you want me to go down on you?”  
Lup sighs gently. “Yeah, babe, I’d love that.”  
Barry moves to slide down in the bed but Lup catches his shoulder in her hand.  
“Hm?” He asks.  
“I’d love that...” Lup says, “Tomorrow morning.”  
“Oh?” Lup does look a bit sleepy, and she’s so adorable resting on him like this.  
“Yeah. For now let’s just.” She kisses his chest. “Be together.”  
“That sounds amazing,” Barry says.  
“It does.”  
With a flick of her wrist, the torches in the room snuff out. It’s just him, and her, alone, in bed, naked and pressed close. He intertwines his fingers in her hair and syncs his breathing with hers. He knows he’ll be asleep in minutes, with Lup so soft against him, but part of him doesn’t want to sleep. He just wants to hold her, and look at her, and love her, for all of eternity until the end of time. He never wants to sleep again, because that would mean spending time without her. And yet, lying here, so comfortable, he can feel himself drifting off.  
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispers.  
“Night, my love,” Lup replies.  
Everything is perfect.


End file.
